Parenthood FAIL.

Well, we had a major fail a few nights ago.

I'm talking about the choke-back-tears kind of fail.

Let me set the scene:

Several weeks ago we were considering getting a puppy.

It's been years since Jay and I had a dog and Cameron was

far too young to remember.

We got the puppy itch, did some research, found a breeder, etc, etc.

Now I could go over the pro's and con's with you all day,

but long story short, despite REALLY wanting a dog,

we decided against it. For now.

Unfortunately we made the mistake of telling Cameron we MIGHT get a dog.

Clearly, children, or at least mine, NEVER hear the word "might".

In fact, I'm pretty sure they are programed to have no sense of the word.

BIG mistake.
HEART BREAKING mistake.

Once we decided against it, the puppy talk around the house ended

and things went back to normal...

until last week.

We were sitting at the dinner table, eating a meal together

when Cameron (completely out of left field) asked,

"Did I do something naughty?"

Confused, I quickly replied, "No, honey. Why would you think that?"

Cameron, with the saddest eyes I've ever seemed in my life,

looked up at me and said, "Well... I didn't get a puppy for my birthday."

I was mortified. I immediately felt the tears start to fill my eyes.

I had been punched in the gut.
I don't know why he thought not getting a puppy was some sort of punishment
and I don't know what we had done to make him think that
but I felt AWFUL.

"We'll get a puppy someday, babe... just not right now."

(Yes, I call my son "babe"... in fact, I call all my kids "babe". Judge me.)

Seeming to accept that answer, he looked back down at his plate

and slapped me with a one-liner that dang near shattered my heart:

"It's okay. I'll just ask Santa instead."

We are the worst parents ever.

At least that's how I felt at that moment.